My Mommy and Me

The relationship that Brittany and her mom had could only be describe as "storybook".  They were so close, they talked about everything and shared many private moments together.  It is rare that you find a young woman who when asked who her hero was, she replied, "My Mommy."  Ask anyone who knew them and they will confirm that the bond between this mother and daughter was so special and true and right. 

More Photos Have Been Added!!

They will always be connected, they will always be close, they will always be "one". 

 

The following letter was read at Brittany's Funeral Mass.... 

My Dearest Brittany, My baby, toddler, preschooler, youth and teenager,

I don’t even have words that can explain what all those mean to me. There is no way to express a mother’s love for their child and the connection that we shared as mother and daughter was like no other, we were one and the same. For the rest of my life I will never be able to explain to anyone the feelings I have for you. They are much too deep and no one will ever understand the way I do.

I will always remember holding you on the very first day you were born and again the night you left me. I held your hand and begged God that some how you would be ok. All your life I always just wanted to protect you and I still couldn’t…there was nothing I could’ve changed. I would have given my life for you but God didn’t have that in his plan this time.

We had an incredible last day…. shopping, getting your ears pierced for a second hole, and finally finding the favorite pair of jeans you’ve been wanting and them actually fitting! We spent the entire day laughing and smiling with each other - who knew it would be our last. You are so special to so many people and I have so many memories…The first memory I have of you and your dad is when I gave birth to you and he just kept holding you and wouldn’t let me hold you. Finally the nurse said “C’mon dad wheel her around to mom let her hold her - she did all the work”

I remember the first time you ever met Steve. You were 1 year old and we went to his house for a visit and you ended up throwing up all over his house and car. I kept thinking “Oh No! Not a good first impression Brittany!” And Greg you met at Trophy’s when you were almost 11. You both were going crazy coloring on the table mat and I couldn’t figure out which one was the bigger kid.

There are so many things about you that I could share…. running around with no hair, big blue eyes and diapers that were always too big!! You’re many, many poolside birthday parties that would take you 3 hours just to open presents, your incredible life long friends, Lexi and Morgan. Family trips to Palm Springs, Las Vegas, Hawaii, Florida, All your cheer competitions, the love and support you gave to your sisters and brothers, the way you loved your friends… the list is endless and the memories are many.

Every moment, smile, laughter, tear, and hug I will forever hold dear in my heart. My heart is broken and my soul is aching for you. You were my “little star” and my best friend. My life will forever be changed. The spirit I once had inside is now shattered and I have no idea how to put the pieces back together again without you standing by my side. The void that I feel will never be replaced. You were my life and I will dedicate the rest of mine to make sure your memory lives on. I will not think of you as gone, you will forever live in our hearts and memories. I will take comfort knowing that you are with our heavenly father cheering the angels on and flying high. . Goodbye for now my little butterfly, until we meet again.

Love Always and Forever,

 

Mommy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • From: Mommy
    Date: August 06, 2005
    Time: 07:23 PM

    My Dearest Brittany,

    My heart is in so much pain for you. Everyday I just feel like the pain is deeper and deeper. I feel so shattered. Words can no longer explain the pain I feel that you are not here with us. It is just so overwhelming that I just feel I'm dying inside. I just want to bring you back and make this all better and knowing there is NOTHING I can do just seems so unbearable.

    My very dear best friend let me just recently hear this song and it took me several times to get through it before I could actually listen to it all. Once I did, I realized how much it meant to me and how it says everything I feel about what has happen. I somehow hope you can hear it and know what I'm trying to say.  Here it is my precious baby girl....


     

    (Press the play button on the Media Player above to hear song)
     

    I Sure Miss You
    Artist - Crabb Family

    Album - Prayer In Motion



    Verse I
    If life could only bring again, the days I took for granted when
    To hear your voice was just a call away
    Oh what I'd give for just some time, to say the things that slipped my mind
    There's so much now I'd really like to say
    But I can never go back when we did the things we did back then
    I'll store those precious memories in my mind
    I'll take what you've instilled in me; I'll try to be all I can be
    And walk the path that you have left behind

    Chorus
    I sure miss you; life will never be the same with you not here
    Each passing day has brought much pain
    But with God's grace my strength remains
    I sure miss you, but heaven's sweeter with you there

    Verse II
    The little things that seemed so small are now gold in a memory vault
    I cherish every one I have of you
    Now I can see and recognize the part you played to shape my life
    I often see you in the things I do
    In God's design and master plan He saw the hurting hearts of man
    As we would say goodbye to those so dear
    So with our family and friends we'll be together once again
    We'll view all heaven's splendor hand in hand
     


    Also another very dear precious friend just emailed me this poem that I just have to share with you. I cried all the way through it because every word was so true. Here it is....

    We are connected, My child and I
    by an invisible cord, not seen by the eye.
    It's not like the cord that connects us 'til birth
    This cord can't be seen by any on Earth.

    This cord does its work right from the start.
    It binds us together, attached to my heart.
    I know that it's there, though no one can see
    The invisible cord from my child to me.

    The strength of this cord is hard to describe.
    It can't be destroyed, it can't be denied.
    It's stronger than any cord man could create.
    It withstands the test, can hold any weight.

    And though you are gone,
    Though you are not here with me,
    The cord is still there,

    but no one can see.


    It pulls at my heart, I am bruised...I am sore
    But this cord is my lifeline, as never before.

    I am thankful that God connects us this way
    A mother and child--Death can't take it away!
    I can't even explain the pain that we all feel losing someone as precious as you. Somehow it just doesn't seem fair and is so hard to understand why? If only we could have more answers!!

    I love you so much my Brittany and there will never be a day of my life that I don't grieve for you and long to feel that special hug and very sweet kiss. So much has been taken from all of us not having you here.

    All my love to you now and forever...


    Sweet dreams my love...
    Mommy

     

  • From: Mommy
    Date: May 28, 2005
    Time: 09:45 AM

    My baby girl,

    I have been having the worst time right now without you. I feel so sad and lonely...I'm just so lost! I have had so many moments lately that I think this is not real...she is coming home, she is in her room, she is right here! It feels so real I believe it and then your accident scene keeps coming back to my head and tells me no your not this is real!! Its like I just keep feeling the pain all over again from the day I got the call and found you.

    People keep telling me "time will ease the pain". I'm finding that is not true because everyday without you I feel worse and it hurts me everyday that I have to wake up and start another day without you.

    I lost so much when I lost you. My best Friend, My baby girl and my beautiful daughter.

    There is nothing that will ever replace the void I feel without you. My soul is broken and my heart is shattered. I had an incredible journey with you my love in the short time I had you and if I could do ANYTHING at all to change any of what has happen to you I would. I would give up everything I have and have nothing if it meant you could walk back into my life.

    It just seems unfair that your life was taken when you made one bad decision. Yet I still don't even know that you made the bad decision...will I ever??

    All I do know is that my life will forever be changed from the moment I found you and I will no longer have a future with you, nothing from that day forward, it was over! It kills me inside and I don't want to live my life without you. I just feel so empty.

    I do want you to know that you were the best daughter, sister, friend anyone could ever have and we all love and miss you so much.

    Everywhere I look I see your beautiful smile and eyes. Your eyes seem to look right through me now as if your trying to tell me something. I only wish I knew what you wanted me to know. We always had such a connection and I know you want to talk to me as bad as I do you. I'm so sorry if this is hard for you too honey...I would never want you to have any pain. I know you would of never done anything like this had you known of the danger and the pain we all would be feeling. You were such a good girl with a heart of gold. Its just not fair!

    Your love for everyone and anyone was something I have never seen in a person. I'm so very proud of the person you are. I know you said I was your hero but truly you are mine.

    I love you just doesn't even say what I want to express and how I feel about you. Those words can't even cover all the love I have for you and feel in my heart. There will never be a day that I don't long for you and the life we had.

    I Miss you so much my little star... you are the "wind beneath my wings"

    All my love to you now and forever,


    Mommy


    From: Mommy
    Date: May 18, 2005
    Time: 07:48 PM

    Comments:

    My lil Star,

    I miss you so much it is killing me inside and I don't know how to do this without you everyday. Each day is harder and harder for me and I seem to long for you more with each passing day.

    I went to Father Dennis today and although I found comfort in his words. I still feel so lost without you. I know that no matter how much time goes by before we see each other again. My heart will never change and I will never be the same.

    I still can not believe this has happen to my baby girl. I just wish I could wake up from this terrible nightmare and you will be there standing right in front of me.

    There was so many things I still needed to say to you, so many things to do with our lives. We had talked about so many things for your future that I will never see. It is killing me that we no longer have a future, no tomorrow. I feel so robbed!!!!

    I just want you to always remember how very much I love you and cherished every moment we spent together and how much joy you ALWAYS brought into my life. I'm so very proud of you and everything you gave of your life. You were the most sincere daughter, sister and friend I have ever known.

    You made me so proud to be your mother and I'm so honored to have been your hero...

    I love you more then life itself my darling daughter..

    My love to you always and forever,

    Mommy

     

    • "mom n me so happy together.jpg"

    Thanks to everyone who came to the Grief Meeting on Wednesday night.  We hope that you were able to find some comfort in this support group.  Please let us know if there is anything else we can do for you.

  • From: Mommy
    Date: May 13, 2005
    Time: 02:18 PM

    Hi Baby,

    This has been such a hard day for me today. Everyday is hard but it just seems to get harder everyday although everyone says time will make it easier it doesn't for me. It only makes it more real that you are not coming home...I don't see that wonderful smile flying through the kitchen after cheer practice saying "Hi Mom" with that comforting hug that your home!! I don't get your calls at lunch time and after school to check in or just because you missed me and wanted to say Hi and I love you.

    We all miss you so much Brittany! Baylee is trying so hard but is having such a hard time without you! She sleeps with one of your T-shirts every night and it still smells just like you!!!

    Giavanna doesn't really understand why you aren't here? She keeps thinking you are just going to come back home from where ever you are at. But you can just see the sadness in her that is seems a longtime? She said to me last night I wish we could go visit Brittany in Heaven and then she said I feel her all the time in my tummy???

    Your friends still come and call all the time. They are wonderful kids and they loved you more then anything. They are all taking this so hard and miss you so deeply.

    Wow, Brittany how life changes in a second. My life will never be the same and I long for you so much I don't know how I will ever begin to heal.
    I try everyday to figure out how to survive every minute that goes by. My mind is racing so hard right now there is not a second your not in my thoughts.

    I want to believe that you walk by my side right now but its so hard not to want to feel you and hold you. I beg God everyday to Please just give me one more chance. I would do anything in the world to change all of this and have you here in my arms.

    I still feel your hand on that last night and when I placed my hand on your back to feel you breathe...and there was nothing...I will never forget that feeling...I cant even explain to you my devastation, loss, fear, I felt as if my life was over... I still do.

    I really don't know how to live without you...were so close and our relationship was unreal for a mother and a daughter.

    I will cherish every memory, every moment, every breathe we shared for the rest of my life.

    I love you so much my little Brittany....

    Love,
    Mommy

  • From: Mommy
    Date: May 13, 2005
    Time: 06:11 AM

    To all Brittany's Family and friends,

    I wanted to post something that I found Brittany had written on an English Assignment. She received an "A" on the assignment and a note that said "Wow, great job Brittany" It was an assignment I believe to be about a war and people dying. There is a section of this assignment that she wrote that really is chilling. It goes like this.....

    Part II
    "I think I would find myself trusting luck, fate, and taking chances because I believe that everything happens for a reason"

    As you can read above, Brittany seemed to want to live life trusting and dealing with whatever fate would bring her way. This was amazing to me she wrote this. I felt almost as if she knew someday this might happen to her??? Maybe a sign from God? Not sure what to believe, but I guess I'm just wanting to have an answer to the awful aching feeling WHY???

    One of my many famous lines to Brittany was everything happens for a reason. Now I see she believed that more than anything.

    I love you so much my Lil Star and this journey without you is so incredibly lonely!!

    All my heart to you forever....Love you always and forever....Mommy

     

    • From: Mommy
    Date: May 08, 2005
    Time: 07:27 AM


    My Beautiful Brittany,

    Today is mother's day and I'm so lost without you. I can't get over the sadness I have every second of the day. You were such a HUGE part of my life and I have no idea how to do this without you. I still pray everyday that this isn't true and somehow you will be coming back to me. I still wait for you everyday and it kills me inside knowing that you're not coming home. My life will never be the same without you.

    Baylee is having such a hard time too. She misses her "teacher Brittany". She can't even look at your picture right now without breaking down in tears.

    I know that you would never want us to hurt this way but we don't know how to live without you. Please help us Brittany....

    I love you now and forever...I will never stop thinking about you...

     

    I think the pictures below speak for themselves.

    Dancing with my mom and laughing really hard!!